Now i should point out that its not the first time i've "been with" someone, its just i've never got the opportunity to make it a more permanent situation... So i have a bit of a learning curve to get over.. but luckily to a quick google search i found an awesome list below that i'll keep handy :)
- when she asks how she looks, shrug and say “could be better” this will keep her on her toes. and girls love that.
- never hold her hand. this can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. (or if she grabs your hand squeeze hers really really hard until she cries. this will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.)
- once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. girls are like dogs. they love to be roughed up.
- call her in the middle of the night to ask if she’s sleeping. if she is say “you better be” , repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. this will show her you care.
- when she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. this will pave the way for her own personal improvement. and every girl needs some improvement.
- recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most. then when she’s sleeping, steal all her small things and break them. because jewelry is for pussies and asian ladies.
- if you’re talking to another girl, make sure shes looking. When she is, stare into her eyes mouth the words @..%$ you and grab the other girls ass. Girls love competition.
- tell her you’re taking her out to dinner. drive for miles so she thinks it’s going to be really special. then take her to a burning tire yard. when she starts to get upset tell her you were just kidding and now you’re really going to take her to dinner. then drive her home. when she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear “…because i can.”
- introduce her to your friends as “some chick”. women love those special nicknames.
- play with her hair. play with it HARD.
- warm her up when shes cold…and not by giving her your jacket… then you might get cold. rather, look her in the eye and say “if you don’t stop bitching about the cold right now you’re going to be bitching about a black eye.” the best way to get warm is with fear.
- Take her to a party. When you get there she'll have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the partys dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you at the party.
- make her laugh. a good way to do this is if she has a small pet. kick the pet. i always find stuff like that funny. why shouldn’t girls?
